Votive Rites Act [by Jim Cummins]

     Scene:  Hillary Clinton's vice-presidential office

     When:  late January, 2009

Hillary:  Come in, come in!  I barely heard you knock.  You need some oatmeal or something.

Barack:  Thanks.  Hi, Bill.  No, don't get up.  I'll lean against the desk.

Hillary:  Would you like some coffee?  Or is that too blue-collar for you?  I might have some chicory or    something.

Barack:  I'm fine.  Actually, I wanted to talk to you about–hey, what are all these votive candles for?

Hillary:  You're for Change.  I'm for Hope.  I married a man from Hope.

Barack:  Yes, the first black president, right?

Hillary:  I never give up Hope.

Barack:  Hillary, the campaign's over.  I won.

Hillary:  Who's talking about the campaign?  There's a precedent for not giving up Hope.

Barack:  What do you mean?

Hillary:  Everyone knows Jack Kennedy was assassinated before he even got his first thousand days in.  Right, Honey?  Wasn't it right before he got his first thousand days in?

Bill:       Just after, I think, Smoochy-Poo.

Hillary:  You know my husband, the historian!

Bill:       Oh, Smoochy-Poo …

Barack:  I've got Secret Service in the hall, guys.  All I have to do is yell.

Hillary:  But can you trust them?