Scene: In the parlor, the Blooms gather moss. Leopold Bloom and Claire Bloom are seated in armchairs. Allan Bloom is standing, chatting with Judy Blume. Harold Bloom stands with his back to the audience looking at the spines of books in a bookcase. Vivian Darkbloom plays solitaire. Molly Bloom is in bed.
All: We are the blooms, and we are off the rose.
Allan Bloom: Things are going to hell.
Harold Bloom: I, Sir, am not apeneck Sweeney.
Claire Bloom: Things are going to gell.
Judy Blume: Make me another martini, Al.
Claire Boom: Yes, make yourself useful, Hal.
Leopold Bloom: Art is useless and that’s what’s so useful about it.
The other Blooms laugh at him, and only now does he realize that he is naked and has to use a bowler hat to cover his sex.
Vivian Darkbloom (triumphantly): Gin!
Hyman Roth: I’d give a million just to be able to take a piss.
Molly Bloom: Rows of cast steel or rose of Castille?
Humbert Humbert: You can count on a murderer to have a fancy prose style.
Harold Bloom: My dears, I am the pariah of the profession.
Marilyn Monroe: Happy birthday, Mr. President.
Allan Bloom: Woe is us!
Judy Blume: Are you there, God?
Leopold Bloom: Come one come all to the fastest growing city on earth, because it’s always "Dublin," and it’s always the 16th of June.
DL