I Wish I Were a Cannibal
because if I were a cannibal I could cook you and put you on a plate
and eat you up but I’d be a magic cannibal so you’d come back tomorrow
and I’d prepare you in a new way and eat you up all over again
or, wait, not a magic cannibal but a cannibal who lives on a magic island
where people who are crazy about each other just keep devouring
the other person every day and then do it again and again and again.
Today I think I’d like to roll you gently in flour, then dip you in
an egg wash and some bread crumbs and slide you into a skillet
in which I have heated butter and olive oil and cook you for three
minutes on one side and two on the other and put a slice of cheese
on you and stick you in the oven just long enough to melt the cheese.
I’d like to make a carrot soufflé out of you. Or a sandwich. But not
just any sandwich: one of those jumbo hot dogs the Chileans call
a completo and for good reason because it’s slathered in tomato
and pickle and guacamole and mayonnaise and sauerkraut and whatever
else you want to put on it. A completo has to have a lot of toppings
or else it’s not completo. Or a Primanti Bros. sandwich from
the famed Pittsburgh deli of that name that consists of capicola
and provolone topped with french fries and cole slaw and tomato
slices on sourdough. Or wait, I know, the Monte Cristo, which is
truly the Cadillac of sandwiches in that you make it by putting
turkey and ham on Dijon-coated white bread which you coat
with a well-beaten egg and cook until brown on both sides and then
sprinkle with powdered sugar and serve with red currant jelly
alongside for dipping, although you’d be delicious dipped in anything.
I’m certainly not going to turn you into a strawberry pretzel salad!
It’s not even a salad, though also delicious. I’d like to smother you,
by which I mean not put a pillow over your face but first make a roux
out of flour and vegetable oil the way they do in Cajun country
and add onion and celery and garlic and chicken broth and then immerse
you and cook you on the lowest heat possible until you emerge tender.
Tender . . . listen to me! How could you possibly be more tender
than you are now! Or sweeter. Notice that I haven’t mentioned dessert.
Why would I? You’re sweeter than ten desserts—a hundred!
If I eat you and dessert both, I couldn’t eat anything for the next three
days except insulin lollipops. I wish you were a shot of whiskey
so I could toss you down my throat or a bottle of beer so I could chug
you on a hot day or a glass of Montepulciano d’Abruzzo so I could
sip you slowly in the presence of one of the yummy dishes I have
described above even though that means I’d be consuming you twice,
which, come to think of it, is not the worst idea I’ve had lately.
I wish you were a cigar so I could stick one end of you in my mouth
and light the other. I wish I were a cigar as well so we could both
go up in smoke. Let’s send smoke signals to everyone on the mainland.
We’ll tell all the other lovers to join us. Bring your toques, lovers!
Or should it just be us? Romantic dinner for two or Bruegel-esque
banquet with dogs and children and big thick-bodied Dutch peasant
types larking about to the tune of a drum and pipe band. And dice,
of course. Peasants love to gamble. Who doesn’t? Why, the first time
I saw you, you were doubling down at the blackjack table, and I myself
am hardly averse to a hand of baccarat or chemin de fer. Did you hear
that? Dinner bell! I think I’ll marinate you for two hours or maybe
overnight in umm lemon and ahh garlic and ooh thyme and
David Kirby's collection The House on Boulevard St.: New and Selected Poems was a finalist for the National Book Award. He is the author of Little Richard: The Birth of Rock ‘n’ Roll, which the Times Literary Supplement of London called “a hymn of praise to the emancipatory power of nonsense” and was named one of Booklist’s Top 10 Black History Non-Fiction Books of 2010. His latest books are a poetry collection, Help Me, Information, and a textbook modestly entitled The Knowledge: Where Poems Come From and How to Write Them. He teaches English at Florida State University.
“I Wish I Were a Cannibal” is forthcoming in Help Me, Information, which will be out from LSU Press this summer.
You might call this a love poem, but that'd be selling it short. I've actually told students they can print out a copy on Valentine's Day and give it to their baby doll and say they wrote it, if they like, because it works just fine as a poem from one person to another. But I had a bigger picture in mind. I hope every reader had a mom who said something along the lines of "you're so sweet, I could just eat you up," which is really my starting place. After that I pile on the calories and the trans fats, but then alcohol shows up, as do cigars, dancing, art, dogs, card games — the whole world's in this poem. Let's put the whole world in our poems. And then eat it.
–David Kirby
The New York School Diaspora (Part Nine): David Kirby [by Angela Ball]
David Kirby, poet of constant surprise, returns consumption to the frank lust of Henry Fielding’s Tom Jones, as visualized in Tony Richardson’s movie and its lovers’ meal where each voracious bite implies a sex act. Kirby doesn’t devour his love with kisses, but “with tomato and pickle and guacamole and mayonnaise and sauerkraut and whatever else,” marinates her “for two hours or maybe / overnight in umm lemon and ahh garlic and ooh thyme. . .” A taboo isn’t violated, as in the wonderful title of the satirical novel by Malcolm Bradbury, Eating People is Wrong. It simply doesn’t exist.
This impulse recalls the original poets of the New York school in their wish to abolish intermediaries between poem and reader, that shows itself in Frank O’Hara’s desire to place the poem between people rather than pages, “lucky Pierre style”; in John Ashbery’s gift to us of his mind transposed to language; in Kenneth Koch’s “new addresses” to War and other abstractions—their effect on us is direct, so why not their representation? James Schuyler gives us his coffee cup, his Korean mums, not as representatives of something else, but as themselves: life’s components. When he sips his coffee, it’s as if a still-life artist were eating the fruits and hams being painted, as of course they did, outside the frame of art. Why do we need the frame?
David Kirby’s “I Wish I Were a Cannibal” doesn’t. It consummates metaphor, makes tenor and vehicle one. How great to be free, eating love as avidly as Mark Strand’s avatar dog eats poetry. And aren’t they, after all, the same, unending as this poem with its connecting “and.”
–Angela Ball