"Grandfather mauled to death by pit bulls."
– News item, December 2008
Hey, what the hell you think
You're doing there, you pit bulls?
Cut out that mauling, damn it!
You heard me! Scram, I said!
On the other hand, 'tis no matter.
My life so ungeverschmutzed: prostate
Trouble, gall bladder, fungal toenail.
Pit bulls! Good work, boys!
I attended the University of Chicago.
Leo Strauss was my teacher. To his
Grad students he confided his fear of
Schwartzers, but swore us to silence.
Thought I was an old coot, didn't you?
But I know the world. You can have it.
But I know the world. You can have it.
Sleepy kitten video! (four million views)