Shakespearean Take-Away (by Laura Orem)

As the New York Times recently reported, Delta and Bank of America have withdrawn their sponsorship of the Public Theater after pressure from those offended by the current production of Julius Caesar, whose title character strongly resembles a certain narcissistic, bellicose, and  outrageously coiffed American president. Setting aside the facts that a) no one seemed to be offended when the same theater company presented a production of the same play featuring a black Caesar during President Obama's term, and b) people getting huffy about art is part of the arts world, the action illustrates a complete lack of understanding of the play's main message. Some folks clearly slept through 11th grade English class.

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photo source: NYTimes 

The miracle of Shakespeare is that he pretty much covers all the foibles of humanity. The plays resonate 500 years later because human nature doesn't change. We may have more bells and whistles at our disposal, can cure diseases and see light-years into the vastness of the universe, but we are still just as messy, tormented, undisciplined, lustful, greedy, ambitious, and clueless as the first day we walked out of our caves and grunted at each other. As Hamlet says, "What a piece of work is man." What a piece of work, indeed. We need Shakespeare because he nails us on the head, every single time, and we especially need him in turbulent times like these. That's why the pulling of the funding is tragic as well as stupid.

In the interest of preventing (hah!) future confusion, but understanding that many people running corporations don't have the time to read a whole Sparknotes pamphlet, I've made a list of Shakespeare's most popular tragedies and histories with a nutshell version of what they have to tell us. They are even Tweetable. (I've left off the comedies because essentially they are all versions of "He/She is Not Who You Think He/She Is.") This way, the next time a sponsor is bewildered by what it thinks it sees, it can refer to this handy list before doing something dumb. I'll start with the play in question. Any resemblance to living people or current events is Shakespeare's fault, not mine.

Julius Caesar : Be Careful What You Wish For

King Lear : Loyalty Oaths Don't Work

Hamlet: Overthinking Stuff Is a Problem

Othello: Don't Believe Everything You Hear

Richard III: Always Bring An Extra Horse

Macbeth: Never Rule Out Marriage Counseling

Romeo & Juliet: Kids, It's Not All About You

Titus Andronocus: Potluck Suppers Only

Henry V: Badass Kings Sometimes Have Dopey Haircuts

The Tempest: No Matter What You Do, Dad, She's Gonna Find Out About That Brave New World

Antony & Cleopatra: If Your Boyfriend Loses the War, It's Good to Have an Asp in a Basket

The Winter's Tale: When You're Out of Ideas, Send in a Bear

 That should cover most of the big ones. In the meantime, Delta Air Lines and Bank of America, maybe you should take some advice from Cole Porter.