“On The Back Of The Book” [by Todd Swift]

Lon Chaney channels Loni Anderson.
Whitaker Chambers channels Wilt Chamberlain.
Edward Said channels the Marquis de Sade.
Sadie Bronfman channels Charles Bronson.
Pierce Brosnan channels Walter Pater. 

Nick Hornby shakes hands with Richard Nixon.
Dick Van Dyke shakes hands with Dietrich Bonhoeffer.
Bono shakes hands with Benjamin Disraeli.
Gilbert and Sullivan shake hands with Lou Dobbs.
Dorothy L. Sayers meets Salman Rushdie. 

Anthony Powell meets Powers Boothe.
Jim Boothroyd meets James T. Kirk.
Henry Kissinger meets King Vidor.
King Kong meets Vidal Sassoon.
Siegfried Sassoon meets Siegfried & Roy.

 Roman Polanski crossed with Paul Theroux.
Theodore Dreiser crossed with Teddy Kennedy.
Ken Dryden crossed with Alexander Pope.
Carol Pope crossed with Bob Hope.
Walter Benjamin crossed with Bing Crosby.

 Neville Shute crossed with Edward Norton.
A mix of Agatha Christie and Kris Kristofferson.
A mix of Edward Nangle and Nancy Reagan.
A mix of Elvis Costello and Marcel Proust.
A little bit Chandler, a little bit Chomsky.

 A little bit Yeats, a little bit Yasser Arafat.\
Two parts Churchill, one part Capote.
Two parts Pound, one part Presley.
Two parts Bradbury, one part Basil Rathbone.
Move over Adlai Stevenson and Brendan Behan.

Move over Otto Preminger and Attaturk.
In the same league as Hitchcock, Hammsen, Hammond.
In the same league as Porter, Pinsky, Patchen.
In the same league as Auden, Austen, Auster.
In the same league as Bellow, Bukowski, Buster Keaton.

— Todd Swift