Liszt
You’re buying a can of tuna fish
As you’ve done so many times
Over the years but this is today,
This is the exact can of tuna fish
You’re buying now, it’s different
From all other cans on the shelf,
This is the Chicken of the Sea
Light Chunk tuna fish in water
You’re buying at this moment
And you’re thinking of Liszt and
Lina Schmalhusen as you buy it,
The name of Lina Schmalhusen
Echoing in your mind, ricocheting
Around in your brain as you buy
this tuna fish — Lina Schmalhusen,
Lina Schmalhusen — and her rivalry
With Dori Petersen, both of them
Students in Liszt’s master classes
For piano performance and the
Rivalry getting worse and worse
Until Liszt himself had to compose
A stern letter to Dori Petersen and
This is the precise can of tuna fish
You buy on this day and you take it
Home in your car in a paper bag.
You’re making a tuna melt as you have
Often done in your life but never this one
That you’re making at this exact moment
In this kitchen with this can of tuna fish
That you put in the sink and on the counter
Beside the sink you place a bowl, a spoon,
A spatula, a knife, a can opener, a lemon,
A bottle of mayonnaise, a white onion,
A pack of pre-sliced cheddar cheese,
And two pieces of rye bread. Meanwhile
Liszt is still on your mind — Liszt, Liszt –
And Lina Schmalhusen’s rivalry with
Dori Petersen in 1883 when Liszt was
Drinking absinthe and Achille Colonello,
His manservant was powerless to stop him.
You slice off a section of the onion and
You dice it on a plastic cutting board,
And you use the knife to sweep it off
The board into the bowl as you return
Your attention to the can of tuna fish
In the sink and then you open the can
With the can opener and then, without
Removing the lid, you press down
On the lid with your thumbs to drain
Water from the opened can of tuna fish.
Has almost all of the water been drained
From the can of tuna fish in the sink?
You lift the top of the can for a moment
And if too much water seems to remain
You replace the top and — with the can
Still in the sink — you press down again
Even harder than before, after which
You remove the top, discard it, and
With the knife as your tool you transfer
The tuna to the bowl where the onion is.
Liszt suspended Dori Petersen from
His master classes with that letter
Stating that ‘this whole intrigue was
‘Initiated by you in a mean-spirited way.’
But then Lina Schmalhusen was caught
Shoplifting so that Liszt, after assuring
Himself of her innocence, felt obligated
While the matter proceeded to trial
To engage the judge and convince him
To drop the charges. Now you place
A skillet on a burner of the kitchen stove
And turn on the flame to heat the skillet
Even before the sandwich is actually
Placed on the skillet and you do this
For reasons that will be made clear.
You open the bottle of mayonnaise and
Use the spoon to scoop out a dollop
Of the mayonnaise which then goes into
The bowl with the onion and the tuna,
And all the while the skillet is heating.
Still using the spoon, you amalgamate
The contents of the bowl and then,
Using the knife, you slice the lemon
In half and drip some lemon juice
Into the bowl. Moving quickly now,
You distribute spoonfuls of the tuna
Mixture onto a slice of the rye bread
And when this is done you remove
A slice of the cheddar cheese from
Its package, spread the cheese on top
Of the tuna, and cover it with the other
Slice of bread to make a sandwich upon
Which, using your full weight, you press
Your hands down onto the sandwich
So that, more often than not, some tuna
Extrudes from the sides of the sandwich.
This is tuna that you can replace beneath
The top piece of the rye bread, or you can
Ignore this tuna or discard this tuna which
Is sometimes called orphaned tuna.
Why was it important to heat the skillet
Even before the sandwich was finished?
Why did Liszt exert himself on behalf of
Lina Schmalhausen against Dori Petersen
And for what reason did he do it again
With Lina Schmalhausen’s shoplifting?
Were the skillet not well-heated before
Receiving the sandwich, then the side of the
Sandwich that was heated first would heat
Slower than the other side of the sandwich
When the sandwich was turned over onto
The now-hotter skillet, which could be
Bothersome if the poorly heated side
Were the side closest to the cheese
And there would also be a tedious
Turning over of the sandwich until both
Sides were more or less evenly heated.
Liszt’s concern for Lina Schmalhausen
Likely arose from her introduction to Liszt
By Empress Augusta of Prussia, to whom
An indifference toward Lina Schmalhausen
Would have seemed like a slap in the face.
Liszt was now 73, in the twilight of his years.
Lina accompanied him from town to town
And generally made his life more bearable.