Browsing through Tristam Shandy
For the first time, Johnson remarked,
“Much here, sir, is very strange and
Nothing strange lasts.” Yet have I
Not lasted? Am I not very strange?
(My name is Shtunky Shtunkonopoulous.)
Here one sees the limits of literary
Study. Like fools, we intellectuals
Absorb ourselves in the writings
Of centuries past, or, of late, with
Blogging, downloading, Googling,
File sharing, texting, and emailing.
Meanwhile, the real art of fucking is
Neglected and this too is strange
And sad. Johnson never fucked,
Content to ride fast with pretty girls
In a chaise or two-wheeled calash.
And Johnson’s “johnson”? Nevermore.
Here one sees the limits of jejune
Onomastic determinism. But note:
As the Bush era ends, another
Johnson spins in his Texas hole.
Now there was a really great fucker!
(My name is Shmengel Shmenginitzky.)
Wet cat chasing tail. No view count yet but I'm confident will be a major hit.