My most recent "dream Shafer" was underage. I was drinking along with a group of other poets in his apartment. His father (whom I have not met in real life) lived across the hall in another apartment and started banging on Shafer’s door. Shafer and the others were frightened and tried to hide on the balcony. I didn’t hide. Eventually his father came in and started bitching me out about my drinking the foul teenagerish beverage (I dunno, Zima?). I corrected him. I explained that I was over 21 and allowed to enjoy alcohol beverages. His father was intimidating, but he didn’t intimidate me. Then later in the dream Shafer tried to kiss me.
Shafer Hall’s first full-length collection, Never Cry Woof, is available from No Tell Books. He has new poems forthcoming from Canada’s Pistol Press. He will make his screen acting debut in the upcoming short film Let’s Sleep Here.
Reb: Do people get Never Cry Woof for the poems or the pictures?
Shafer Hall: A lot of folks have told me they don’t get Never Cry Woof at all. But I think it’s safe to say that no one can resist a half-naked cowboy. And if the pictures get folks to buy it, then God bless the pictures. Which is another way of saying God bless half-naked cowboys. I think most people get Never Cry Woof because I tell them to, or cause I stick it in their face or something. If you bought Never Cry Woof for some other reason, I’d love to hear from you.
Reb: Years ago you grabbed my husband’s ass. Yet I still published your book. Is it the poems or pheromones that make you completely irresistible?
Shafer: YOU published the book. Is it my poems or pheromones that make me completely irresistible? But seriously, your husband has a very tall ass — it was practically even with my face while I sat on that barstool. You roll the dice every time you grab an ass. Maybe it’ll be fun, or maybe you’ll take one to the nuts. Maybe both.
Reb: When are you going to ditch poetry and write something people want to read?
Shafer: I write other stuff all the time — prose, plays, screenplays, songs, occasional non-fiction. I always kind of feel like I’m selling out, but to date I haven’t sold anything. And I always come back to poetry. I like poems cause they don’t take as long to write. I don’t like to think about any one thing for too long. I have a Canadian five-dollar bill. It has been defaced to make Sir Wilfrid Laurier look like Spock.