We spent most of the afternoon in the shallow end
floating around drunk. We grabbed people, lit off
fireworks and pointed them at the people we’d grabbed.
We riffled through drawers, broke a strand of pearls,
put on the most expensive clothes in the closet and they
fit great, ate some pills in the medicine cabinet,
flushed the rest, and crushed all the potato chips
with a phone book. Somebody barfed but nobody cared.
We broke the riding mower. We actually broke
the record on breaking a riding mower. The people came
home and were like, “Excellent job! You’re hired!”
so we accidentally beat them to death, looking each other
in the eye until we couldn't anymore. Then we sang a song
about a heavy load and danced away on down the road.
[from Drunk by Noon by Jennifer L. Knox, Bloof Books, 2007. Bloof is edited by the incomparable Shanna Compton].
See also Jennifer's "desert isle" column with her recommendations on what to bring.