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“Girl Writing a Letter” [by William Carpenter]
A thief drives to the museum in his black van. The nightwatchman says Sorry, closed, you have to come back tomorrow.The thief sticks the point of his knife in the guard's ear.I haven't got…
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“Dear David” [by Herb Engelhardt]
So sorryAnd sympatheticTo your influenza siegeEach time I get a sniffle, I hear Death at my doorSome day it will be thereIn the meantime, as the incorrigible sybarite…
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Disco [by Neil de la Flor]
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to disco. After reading 37 essays about District 9, Kafka's The…
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Clemens to Appear in Small Claims Court? [by Stephen Reichert]
My new friends from The Associated Press took this photo of my baseball cards. Before the prosecution shit their pants, and while on recess, I held the door for a sweating Clemens, which suddenly put…
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Do Not Disturb Rocks & Other Things I Saw Today [by Neil de la Flor]
I don't know why the rocks can't be disturbed, but I'm disturbed someone spent money on a sign that reads, "Do Not Disturb Rocks". I'm not sure if the rocks will mind being disturbed…
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Clemens 1, Feds 0 [by Stephen Reichert]
Mistrial. That was quick. A walk in the park: Moments ago the prosecution allowed the jury to see inadmissible evidence. Both sides were instructed at pre-trial that they were not to introduce outside evidence…
