“Aunt Jemima 44 Ways” [by Raymond DeJesus]

Aunt Jemima in a swivel chair

Aunt Jemima doing the chévere

Aunt Jemima in an argyle v-neck

Aunt Jemima in an oval portrait

Aunt Jemima in a poodle skirt

Aunt Jemima clapping along to Klezmer music

Aunt Jemima on guitar saying, "Good night, Detroit"

Aunt Jemima wearing a string of pearls

Aunt Jemima sporting a kerchief

Aunt Jemima rids herself of the kerchief to sport a brand new perm

Aunt Jemima making us smile and warm

Aunt Jemima driving a small pick-up to the cathedral

Aunt Jemima as immortal

Aunt Jemima speaking Spanish

Aunt Jemima on vacation in the Swiss Alps

Aunt Jemima taking flying lessons

Aunt Jemima slapping the ketchup bottle

Aunt Jemima as queen bee

Aunt Jemima in all out war with Mrs. Butterworth and Log Cabin.

Aunt Jemima opening a new bank account

Aunt Jemima tossing the dastardly vacuum out of the dastardly window

Aunt Jemima napping at 4PM on a Friday afternoon after a jog with the dachshund

Aunt Jemima with the kindest wink you ever saw

Aunt Jemima wearing rainbow shorts

Aunt Jemima holding a hand grenade

Aunt Jemima in white scoop neck tank tee

Aunt Jemima brandishing an Italian stiletto switchblade

Aunt Jemima bareback horse riding in the buff

Aunt Jemima ready to shred her surname

Aunt Jemima hablando con un accento que no se comprende facilmente

Aunt Jemima hanging on the stoop with her crew

Aunt Jemima spitting out her pancakes

Aunt Jemima taking un trago de whiskey

Aunt Jemima and Ernie Borgnine

Aunt Jemima refusing to be a sycophant

Aunt Jemima falling in love

Aunt Jemima dying to get out

Aunt Jemima shopping at Nordstrom’s

Aunt Jemima refusing to be mugged

Aunt Jemima smoking at least two packs of Winstons a day

Aunt Jemima at the local clinic

Aunt Jemima serving up gruel

Aunt Jemima scowl

Aunt Jemima refusing to be aunt

 

— Raymond DeJesús