'Hello, I'm an Intellectual'
No woman will or could resist
This disarming introduction
Which, in contradistinction to
Banal so-called pickup lines,
Offers a frisson of brain buzz
As a kind of appetizer for the
Polymorphous feast of prandial
And potable invigorations to follow.
‘Hello, I’m an intellectual!’ Say it
With a cosmopolitan intonation
(Practice with a recording device)
And watch what happens. Read
“Think and Grow Rich” to similarly
Jump start your whole financial life
Revelation
At a Cubs game – no score
After six innings – I prayed
For a home run on the next
Pitch and it happened. As the
Ball cleared the left field wall
I briefly hesitated, then fell
To my knees and as I recited
The Sh’ma the heavens opened
And a great hippopotamus
Appeared whose visage shone
With compassion and love for
All humankind. Then it was gone.
I resumed my seat. I was eleven
Years old. My friends shot me
Puzzled glances for a moment
But with shrugs they concluded
I’d simply had a whack attack.
The game continued, 1-0 Cubs.
I have kept silent all these years!
Sh'ma Yisrael, Adonai Eloheinu,
Adonai Echud! Amen! Amen!